Our Full Menu of Disservices

Whatever you own, wherever you live, we have a tailored way to make it worse. Browse our specialisms below.

🛋

Home Removals

The classic. We turn up, we load your life into a van, and the rest is a mystery for the police to solve.

Regret it now →
🗑

Rubbish Redistribution

We don't remove rubbish, we relocate it — usually to somewhere it'll cause maximum neighbourhood conflict.

Regret it now →
🎓

Student Fleecing

Frightened freshers are our bread and butter. We accept student loans, overdrafts, and tears.

Regret it now →
🔒

Hostage Storage

You drop it off. You never pick it up. The fees, however, are immortal.

Regret it now →
🏠

House Removals (Bristol)

Big house? Big van? Big regret. We specialise in 'losing' exactly one box per bedroom.

Regret it now →
🏢

Office Removals (Bristol)

We move your office and your confidential files. Especially the confidential files.

Regret it now →
🛏

Flat & Studio Moves

Small space, smaller chance of seeing it all again. Stairs incur a 'we hate stairs' fee.

Regret it now →
🚗

Garage Clearance

We clear your garage. We keep the interesting bits. You keep the empty feeling.

Regret it now →

'Recycling' (Bristol)

Air quotes mandatory. Your recycling goes wherever the wind — and a tip ban — takes it.

Regret it now →

Pick Your Poison

One quote. Infinite hidden fees. Endless regret.