About Us (Allegedly)

Two Bristol brothers. One van. Zero scruples. This is the story of how a childhood promise to 'never get caught' became a thriving local enterprise.

The Buff Brothers

It started, as all great crimes do, in a garage in Bristol. Two brothers looked at the removals industry and thought: "What if it were the same, but villainous?"

Don't be put off by their age, or the youth of their business, or the multiple ongoing investigations. The Buff brothers bring a personal touch to every move — usually with their bare hands, all over your belongings.

Today, Evil Buff Removals operates a fleet of twelve vans (four of which we still legally own) across the Bristol area, ruining moving days one postcode at a time.

Our Values

  • Greed — our north star
  • Punctuality — to other people's houses, not yours
  • Honesty — exclusively about how dishonest we are
  • Community — we know where everyone keeps their valuables
  • Sustainability — we reuse the same deposit-theft scheme indefinitely
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Brothers
9
Aliases
Hidden fees
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Lessons learned
Our mission: To provide the people of Bristol with a removals experience so memorable they tell the story for years, mostly to insurance assessors.

Meet the Brothers

They'll meet you too. At your address. We already have it.