Rubbish Redistribution
We don't remove rubbish. We relocate it — typically to a neighbour's driveway, a beauty spot, or a quiet lane with your name still on the envelopes inside.
What We'll Take Off Your Hands
And by "off your hands," we do mean permanently. The following are all fair game:
- Tip runs (we never reach the tip)
- Single items, redistributed
- Room clearances, neighbourhood disputes included
- Garden clear-outs, fly-tipping a speciality
- Hazardous waste, handled hazardously
- Your dignity (recycled, badly)
- Your last shred of hope (landfill)
- A pint of blood (admin fee, paid in kind)
- Your spleen — yes, the spelling's wrong, no, we won't fix it or give it back
How It Works
- You request a quote. It is reasonable.
- We arrive. The quote is no longer reasonable.
- We load. Items vanish. Walls weep.
- We present the final invoice. You cry.
- We accept cash, watches, and family heirlooms.
Disclaimer: We are not a licensed waste carrier. Any fines arising from where your rubbish ends up are legally, morally, and enthusiastically your problem.
Frequently Avoided Questions
Where does my rubbish actually go?
Somewhere. Out there. Free. Living its best life. On someone else's land. With a fine attached to your address.
Is this legal?
We admire your optimism. See our guide on Bristol rubbish fines, most of which our customers receive.
Can I get a waste transfer note?
We can draw you one. It won't be real, but it'll be a lovely keepsake of the day everything went wrong.
★★★★★
“They were polite, which somehow made the theft worse. Found my toaster on eBay that evening. Listed by 'buff_steals_co'.”
NC
Nigel CrookHorfield • do not recommend
★★★★★
“They read my diary aloud in the van and gave it a 2-star review. The diary, not the move. The move was a 1.”
BS
Brenda SplinterRedland • emotional damage
★★★★★
“Asked for a quote, received a threat. Asked for the threat in writing, received a bigger threat. Lovely lads though.”
TW
Trevor WelchBrislington • lost a wardrobe